Okay, so here we are at OHSU waiting for more test results. They want to run their own test to make sure it is what Bend says it is. Josh had another MRI yesterday due to some head aches. So far we have yet to hear anything...no news is good news says the doctor. He did tell us today that this could have been going on for years instead of just over the last 6mo like what they had told us.
Josh is moving his legs more and better today...and yesterday. Getting stronger. He is defiantly determined to get moving better, especially is it means he can sit on the toilet again. Shh I didn't tell you that. :) This is a great hospital but the new face lift hasn't caught up with the rooms yet. Small, old, cracker box. It is depressing but it could be worse.
Andrew is doing well considering everything. He is getting use to being at papa and nana's and spending time with Auntie. He wants to be with mom and dad but he seems okay with it all.
Baby Joshuah is ready to go home. Doing really well. They are going to keep him in NICU for the week until we know exactly what these test results say and what our plans are going to be.
We appreciate all the prayers. God is good!

The next chapter...
Today (Friday) Josh was transported to OHSU in Portland. The Pathology reports that have come back show that he does have cancer. Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma...a type of soft tissue/muscle cancer. It is most common in children but is seen in adults...obviously. Easily treated with chemo and a high potential of going into remission. The doctors seem pretty confident that the treatment will work. OHSU has been the recommended place for his treatment because they have a license to use experimental drug therapy that the other cancer tx centers do not have. Josh started with physical therapy yesterday and also met with the occupational therapist. Not much was done but a basic evaluation. They did get him sat up on the edge of the bed and up enough to get his bedding changed. Because of the spinal cord injury from the tumor pressing against his spine, he doesn't have much movement in his legs. He can feel his legs and feet, move his toes, lift his legs a little bit and push down with his feet, but that is about it. He has made a lot of progress just over the last couple of days and even more over the last 24hrs. He will start up with a physical therapist as soon as he gets settled in Portland. They say it could take up to a year before he's back to "normal". I heard it could take up to a year before he is climbing stairs and is walking like he was 6mos ago. However he could be walking and back to "normal" next month. Josh is strong in all ways, and I know he has the determination to conquer, and will be walking soon! God has carried us through all the way and has shown us what he can do when we depend on him. We take one day at a time and put our lives in God's hands. We all know that chemo has a different effect on each person. My prayer is that the effect it has on Josh isn't going to make him as sick as it could, that he will continue to keep his strength mentally, emotionally and physically. It is hard to stay positive for us all but with God's strength we will get through this!

So we met with the oncologist a little bit ago. No test results back yet on the biopsy. He is pretty convinced that it is a sarcoma cancer. The test he had done today show leisions on his ribs and some more tumors. Providing it IS this cancer plan is to pack Josh up and transport him to OHSU in Portland on Friday. Not forsure yet it all depends on the pathology results. Thanks for your prayers!

Our God IS big enough...

As you all know Josh has been having some back problems over the last couple of months. Last Friday we took him to ER in Eugene because he was having some numbness and tingling in both of his legs. The docs loaded him up on meds (of course) did some neurological test...meaning he isn't paralyzed cause he could move his toes and legs a little bit, sent him home and he was to follow up with his doc on Monday for an MRI. Monday comes has the appt, yes there is something wrong, can't get an MRI done till Wednesday (today). Well early Tuesday AM Josh fell (he's been staying with his parents) and they couldn't get him up. Called the EMTs to get him off the floor and into the car. To the hospital. Finally got the MRI done. It shows two tumors in the muscle tissue on/near his spine, one on the back of his sternum and one somewhere in his left thigh area. I am unsure of the exact location. He was transported by air the St. Charles in Bend for emergency surgery to relieve the pressure one of the tumors was causing against his spine. Surgery went okay. He lost 2L of blood, but the surgeon was able to get what he needed for the biopsy. At this point they are saying it's probably cancer. Unsure as to what type. We will know over the next 24hrs what we are looking at here. He had a head to toe CT and a testicular ultrasound this AM and is now having another MRI done as I write this. Josh is on pain meds of course but seems to be pretty level headed about it all. I am hanging in there. I've come to realize over the last couple of months that to worry about something isn't going to help. That doesn't mean I don't care what happens but until there IS something to worry about it's pointless. I want facts before I "freak out". We can and will get through this no matter what happens. Look at all God has brought us through up to this point. Some say "how can this happen to you guys" and I have thought to myself what next....for real? But I believe it's the devils way of breaking us and Gods way of saying I am here...depend on me. And that is exactly what we are doing. Because we can't handle this on our own, nor do we want to.

Lots of prayers...

Dad and I drove over last night. Josh's dad is here and mom is on her way. Andrew is in Eugene with Marge and Jennifer. Joshuah is doing FANTASTIC! Just about 5lb 2oz. Taking a bottle for most of his feedings. He is still learning the whole suck, swallow, breath AT the same time thing. But doing very well so far. His doctor thinks that he may be able to got home next week....where ever home is. :) Where that heart is right?

Josh's surgeon said he'd probably be here about a week and then they can possibly transport him to a rehab center in Eugene depending on what all the test show. Please keep the whole family in your thoughts and prayers. I know this is trying for all of us. But like I've said our God IS big enough...

I can't believe Joshuah is already 10 days old. He is such a precious little thing. He sleeps ALL day which of course is normal...he is working hard on growing ya know. :) The doctor gave him permission to nurse and he doesn't even want to wake up to attempt trying to work for his food. Why would he want to do that when it's just pushed into his tummy every three hours and he can KEEP sleeping? He is doing really well. Yesterday he weighed 4-7 1/2. An oz up from birth weight. His feeding tube through his nose and his heart monitors are the only lines/tubes he has hooked to him. Yesterday he was moved from his lil incubator to a crib. The nurses all make comet on how big he is, but are then reminded that he is still really young. Considering the situation I don't think I could ask for a healthier baby.

I am doing as good as I could be considering the extra stresses. Going into surgery wasn't as horrible as I though it would be. It was actually pretty cool. (it was FREEZING in that OR) Because of risk to baby they waited till the last minute to"put me out", all scrubbed up, strapped down, 15 people on in the room, scalpel in hand and THEN I was gone. Woke up asking if Joshuah had any hair. :) I know whats important. Ha ha. I spent Friday trying to wake up. For me is was the hardest thing to do. But from the sounds of it I shouldn't have even tried to attempt the process as I was just looking like a fool on drugs. Saturday was a little bit better. Most of everything but the pain meds had worn off throughout the night. I finally got to see our little man that morning for a few minutes. Thank you to all of you that wanted to see Joshuah but waited because I wanted to see him first. When it comes down to it, it probably didn't make sense, but to me it meant the world! So thank you! I had good days and bad days throughout the week. I was preped and told all about having a c-section and the process and pain, but everyone failed to tell me about the pain of "trapped air"! I thought I was going to die! It was the worst pain I've ever had!!! Yes the lung pain and kidney stones were bad, but this is a totally DIFFERENT pain and place. UGH! I can't even explain. But by the end on Tuesday back on an IV and lots of drugs and lets just say lots of "intestinal treatment" I was a little bit more comfortable. Geesh what an experience. They kicked me out on Friday. Okay they let me go. :) It was totally bittersweet. I was ready to get out of there but it was hard making the change. Emotionally. Just adds all the more feelings to post pardon depression. Now that I am somewhat settled and have a visiting Joshuah schedule it is nice not to be stationed at the hospital and it is defiantly nice being able to come and go as I please.

Josh and Andrew are still staying at home and are here a few days a week. Josh is still having back problems and your prayers are always appreciated. Andrew is cute with his little brother. He comes into Joshuah's room and instantly gets his stool and looks into Joshuah's bed just to make sure he is there. One day Andrew didn't realize nor was he listening that I was holding Joshuah and he proceeded to look into his bed and was a bit confused when brother wasn't there. However after he checks it all out and sees that brother is truly there then he is off and on to the next thing.

As Josh, Andrew and I and now Joshuah are all feeling the affects of being separated your prayers are always needed. We plan to be home together again around the first of the year. Not to much longer but it feels like a life time. God is still BIG enough as he has show us over the last 6weeks. He is an amazing God and we pray that we will have his strength.

I just have a quick minute, on my way to feed baby Joshuah. Everything is going good with both of us. We've had our good days and our set backs but nothing that isn't taken care of. Here are a few pictures. I'll get some more on later. Keep us in your prayers!

HOLY COW! I can't believe how fast time has gone. No I wasn't saying that two weeks ago let alone a week ago. Two more days and we'll be turning another corner in our life. Today is really the first day I've felt like I am ready to be done being pregnant. I receive a steroid inj. for baby's lungs yesterday in my right hip and today in the left. Yesterday it was not bad at all. But today both of my hips were very sore along with my lower and middle back. Not to bad. About two weeks or so ago my doctor wrote orders so I could go down the hall to labor and delivery and relax in one of the jetted tubs. It took until Thanksgiving for me to take advantage of it and sense then the unit has been so busy that I couldn't get a tub until 11:00 tonight. It felt sooo very good. :)
IV fluids will be started Thursday night. Surgery is scheduled for 8:30 Friday am. My doc estimates about an hour before I am to recovery. I'll then come back up to labor and delivery and be monitored for awhile longer before returning to my room. At one point one of my docs said it would be Saturday before I'd get to see Joshuah but then this morning the other doc said he would be shocked if I didn't get to see his on Friday. That made me feel better. Joshuah will be moved up to NICU shortly after he is born to get all set up. I asked if the birth could be video taped or at least some pics. No video (didn't expect it) but my doc said he will see if one of the nursing students who does not have to scrub in could take some pictures for me. I thought that was nice.
Be praying for my other boys. Josh is still fighting his back pain. He had x-rays done yesterday and thankfully it only showed some major inflammation and not a damaged disk. That is a blessing but he still can't do much. Andrew came down with the stuffies and a cough over the weekend, is mostly over it and now Josh has it. If he doesn't get better before Friday I can at least hope that they will let him scrub, glove up and put a mask on so he can see Joshuah after he has been moved to NICU. All else fails I would think he could look at him through the door. However that may not even be an option. Only time will tell.
Thinking about it I still wonder where the time has gone. I've enjoyed being pregnant and wish is wasn't soon to be over. But I am VERY thankful that this whole long term hospital visit is almost done. I couldn't have asked for better nurses or doctors and I will miss their caring and thoughtful personalities. Huh I'm talking like I am getting out of here tomorrow. :) sill a little bit longer.
I thank God daily for all he has done. I've been healthy and strong all the way through. He reminds me that to worry about my situation will accomplish nothing but I should give my worries and concerns to him like I've done all the way through. Our God is great and is to be praised for all!